


Fucking Magnets, How Do They Work?

by Mameshiba (Monobear)



Series: So You're Dating A Chaotic Demon: Dipper's Guide to Romance [1]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Dipper is embarrassed, Free food is worth this, M/M, There is singing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-08
Updated: 2015-04-08
Packaged: 2018-03-21 21:25:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3705255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monobear/pseuds/Mameshiba
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'Imagine that your OTP goes to a karaoke place with a bunch of friends (if they have any). The owner of the place really likes the song “Magnet”, so to get more people to sing it, the owner says that any group of people where at least two people sing the song as a duet will be given a free dinner. Cue everyone convincing the OTP/3 to sing it together.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fucking Magnets, How Do They Work?

It was one thing that the demon wasn't experienced with 'dates' at all, at least in the traditional sense. Sure, there were a few journeys through the dreamscape that could've perhaps counted, but nothing in the awake world - and even then, it was a weird experience for both, but Mabel said that she'd totally have it under control and Dipper had nothing to worry about because she was going to make sure he had the most awesome first date ever. Sometimes, Dipper did appreciate that his sister was a meddler at heart, because both he and his boyfriend had no real concept of doing things on a date 'right'. Mabel had read so many romance novels that she had to know. She just had to, right?

...Right?

* * *

 

"And so that's when I threw him over a table for trying to mess with me." Wendy grinned, crossing her arms proudly. "The asshole didn't dare try again, and if he ever does again? I'll kick his ass so hard he throws up his own shi--"

"Please don't talk like that when we're going to eat." Dipper grimaced. He really wasn't eager to hear a sentence that ended with barfing feces, unlike his boyfriend, who was still grinning his usual slightly-demented grin.

"Pssh, pine tree, not like he actually did it. Did he do it? Did you take pictures? If you kick his ass again, remind me to pay more attention. I'm certain I saw it, but I'm not sure how well." 

"Nah, he didn't, but when and if it happens again, feel free to watch."

"Pffha! I would anyway, even if you said 'don't'!" 

"Anyway, isn't this new place awesome?" Mabel smiled, patting at the colorful table. "I mean, yeah, the owner's kinda weird, and she does weird things, but..."

There was a mild mutter of agreement amongst the table. Currently at the table, in order of seating was Bill, Dipper, Mabel, Wendy, Soos, Grunkle Stan, and Waddles. It was supposed to be a 'date', but Mable had decided that a 'group date' would work out better, at least for now. 'Ease yourself into it,' she said. 'Don't rush things! You're both young...kinda...and inexperienced!'

Whoop-dee-doo. At least Cipher seemed to be having fun. It took a lot even to get the group to recognize the demon after a few years, and even more for them to agree to let him come along after the previous incidents, but so far Dipper had found that the fact that Bill had claimed he was 'metaphorically, turning over a new leaf' was actually pretty true...for the most part. The dream demon still wasn't afraid to tease him, even if he wasn't outright harassing anyone, he still was a trickster at heart.

"...My supernatural sense for free things is going off." Stan muttered, glancing around the shop. "There's something free here, and we're missing out on it."

Mabel scanned across the room, and pointed up at a sign with a blue-haired anime girl on it. "Free things at 12 o'clock!" 

Soos unintentionally shuddered at the sight of the anime-looking girl -- perhaps Giffany had left more than a lasting effect. "I dunno, dude. What's it say?"

"...If a couple sings the song 'Magnet', the whole table gets free food!" Mabel's smile grew wider and wider, as she slowly turned towards her brother.

"No." Dipper said, staring at Mabel. "Nononononono. No."

"Aww, c'mon, Pine Tree! You sing that one song all the time about the dancing girl or whatever and you don't sound bad~!" Bill just had to chip in, wrapping an arm around Dipper. "Besides, hardly anyone's here!"

"I just..." Dipper frowned, glancing around at the table.

"Do it!" Mabel cheered.

"Go ahead, dudes!" Soos joined in. Wendy gave a thumbs up as her contribution, and Waddles oinked.

"It's free food. That's the only way we're coming back here, because the other way involves us running away without paying." Stan stated flatly, and that was that. Dipper muttered a defeated 'dammit...' as his boyfriend hopped up. 

"....Are you agreeing with them just to humiliate me?"

"Well...you are cute when you're embarrassed, Pine Tree." Bill shrugged. "So yes, maybe. I can't even feel humiliation anymore, so this isn't my problem!"

Mabel had hopped up and dashed over, pressing buttons on the karaoke machine as a TV began playing music and--oh, God. Dipper couldn't help but unintentionally shrink into himself. Dammit dammit dammit. Even the owner was peeking out - a weird-looking girl in some kind of cartoon costume.

" _There was something 'bout you that sparked a tiny fire inside my heart...by the time it burst into flames I knew my world was torn apart~_ " He wasn't bad at singing, that was the thing. No matter how ridiculous his overly-chipper normal voice sounded, he wasn't bad.

" _Trying to catch my thoughts but they flew from me just like a butterfly - and when it finally settled I saw it landed by your side!_ " He took hold of his hands as Dipper looked up, blinking. "Take my hands and put your words for me within-" And now he was licking his lips teasingly. Oh, Christ. "--take my lips, and show me what tongues are for. If this world decided this is called a sin, then let it burn, 'til it can burn no more!" Most of those times 'letting the world burn' was a very dangerous thought to come to a demon's mind, but this time Dipper was far too lost in embarrassment to think about implications -- although he did notice that there was a very telling triangular poster near the screen though Bill wasn't even remotely looking in that direction. _Smart move, asshole._

" _I wanna hold you close to me, I wanna feel you there with me, I wanna hear you say that it wasn't wrong to fall for you - seal it with a kiss, 'til I can taste you on my lips...I wanna lose myself in another world where our story can come true..._ " 

Oh, no. His part was next. Dipper internally steadied himself, and grinned - something Bill was definitely not expecting from the 17-year old boy. _Fine then. Two can play at this game._ " _Every day I spend with you makes it harder to restrain myself--_ " The blonde quickly recovered, nonchalantly smiling to replace the words 'go on, go on. You won't make it any furthe--' " _\--I just wanna show off that you belong to me and no one else._ " The blonde was thrown off-guard once again by his partner's arms wrapped around him. " _Even though it turned into something I could never comprehend - if it's with you, I wanna take this to the very end!_ " 

The brunette let go gently, the blonde's grin returning - perhaps even wider, if that was possible. " _Going 'round in circles 'til my heart is lost...I can run, but still I find it's no use....why must happiness have such high of a cost? Why must you be...someone I cannot choose? And still I see it with my eyes, this dream that haunts my every night--_ " Bill was snickering by this point. Irony. " _\--showing reality, where the two of us can never be, if we choose like so, there is no turning back, I know, but that's okay, because you're someone who means more than the whole world to me--_ " 

Instrumental break. The demon practically slid over to Dipper, still chuckling. "Didn't think ya had it in ya, pine tree." A more quiet voice than usual, definitely. "Cute. But remember, I'm the possessive one here. Even if, yeah, that was kinda unexpectedly... adorable." And that was a last-second wordswap that left Dipper frowning. "Oh, okay, and kinda hot too, happy?" 

\--And the instrumental break was over, and Dipper hopped back into the song. " _Morning breaks, and I am woken by my tears--_ " 

" _And I hold you not knowing what to do--_ "

" _'It's okay,' you tell me but I could still hear it in your voice...have you been crying too?_ " 

Although the two (at least physically - Bill was looking around via his other 'eyes' which only amused him further) weren't bothering to look at the audience at this point, more and more people had started piling in. Mabel was watching practically with hearts in her eyes, Wendy was grinning, Soos was looking around at all the people slightly amazed, and Grunkle Stan? ...Well, Grunkle Stan had struck a deal with the owner and was now selling tickets for the show.

" _I wanna hold you close to me--_ " " _I wanna feel you there for me--_ "

" _I wanna hear you say that it wasn't wrong to fall for you..._ "

" _Seal it with a kiss, 'til I can taste you on my lips--_ "

" _\--I wanna lose myself in a world where it's just us two..._ "

"Drawn to where you are, no matter if it's near or far - it's like a magnet that pulls me towards you, always repeating!" 

" _Still I choose like so, because I cannot go back, I know, but it's okay because you're the one who means more than the whole world to me..._ " Dipper finally got a slight smile on his face...which was promptly taken over by a gigantic blush as his boyfriend pulled him into a kiss and...oh no. Was that a crowd...cheering?!

Bill pulled back, still keeping an arm around Dipper. "Thank you, thank you! We'll be here all week! Buy gold, the apocalypse is coming! Hahahahahaha!" 

Dipper buried his head into his hands. "Aww, c'mon, Pine Tree. They love us! And I love you!" ...Pause. "...I did NOT mean to say that out loud!" Perhaps that thing about not being able to feel humiliation was a blatant lie.

A squeal was heard, no doubt coming from Mabel as Dipper looked up, letting out a sigh to calm himself. "Yeah, I love you too."

Cue the gigantic 'awwwww' coming from the crowd. The two slid back into the table, and Mabel was still thrilled over the whole thing. "You two did great!" 

"Yeah, that was pretty sweet." Wendy nodded.

"I made loads of money off selling tickets to this!" Stan was, naturally, very pleased with himself. "We should start having this stuff more often."

"Grunkle Stan--!"

"Pffahahaha! I don't mind~" Cipher kissed the still very flustered Dipper on the cheek. "Besides, these human date-things are fun." 

Mabel later marked this memory as 'Dipper's Best Date Ever!'


End file.
